I love knowledge. I get a thrill from grasping and mastering different areas of studies. I, always, would think to myself that the more you know the better. It is better to know, instead of being left in the dark. Ignorance couldn’t ever be bliss! Or could it?
Sometimes, I think, you need to leave well enough alone, to not unturn that heavy rock because it is fine left where it is and does not impede on your journey. Sometimes you need to just let things rest in peace.
I wanted concrete answers that I could piece together into a logical picture in my mind. I wanted to solve mysteries and to piece together events in my life so they would make sense. I asked questions repeatedly, (that I later realized that I truly did not benefit from obtaining an answer from) and I wanted the honest truth, not to be kissed with a lie. I wanted the ugly, bear truth. I begged for the truth after receiving what I now realize were white lies that would have saved my heart from completely shattering. I pried until I received the answers that turned me into a puddle of tears and left me unable to function for two weeks after. I had never been so obsessive over why and what and how. I was absolutely dumbfounded and continued to focus on it. I was able to move on, but those two weeks were misery, and I could have prevented that misery but just moving on and continuing to focus on my journey forward in life.
Sometimes you truly just do not need that answer to the question that pops into your head that seems so important. Sometimes the question that you thought was so important no longer even impacts your life. Keep moving forward not backwards by analyzing the past and demanding clear-cut honest answers. Sometimes it’s better to not have those answers and to leave those questions behind with the past.