I had to leave.
Because holding you knowing that you allowed someone else to explore you the way I did.
The way that I was so certain only I was going to know for the rest of our existence.
I thought I was going to be the last soul you let feel yours like that.
I could not hide my hurt and I couldn’t look you in the face without falling apart.
Maybe I was just weak.
My soul felt betrayed and I couldn’t continue our story.
I had to cut it off.
I had to leave to heal myself.
Lots of bracelets.
OH the cat scratched me again.
Through narcissistic eyes.
Everything is morphed to their pleasure.
Every situation is twisted to fit within their vision.
High on power, high on status.
Seeks to maintain at any cost.
Even if it meant dragging those who loved them to the basement
And throwing away the key.
Chasing the high of entitlement
Straying farther from the freedom of happiness.
His lack of soul baffled me.
I believe I was more mourning the person I truly believed he was capable of being.
The him I saw through the cracks of the earthquake that he engulfed my entire sense of self in.
I saw the raw pieces of his soul that he only allowed to peer out through the shades.
He had so much potential.
That I took that verision of him that I believed in and held him on a pedestal.
My hopes and dreams were not reality.
My wishful thinking was not real.
Once I finally decided to take him off this pedestal is when I was able to see the truth.
I was able to finally open my eyes and heal.
You have to let go of these romanticized, white lies that I made myself believe to rationalize why I waited so long to leave.
The truth will set your soul free.