I thank her for being there and to eagerly fill the spot that I was holding in his life. 

Thanks to her hot pursuit and desire to begin a relationship with my ex it made it impossible for me to instinctively sprint back based on uncomfortable and temporary sadness. 

I had to learn to find comfort from anything other than him. 

The fact that he moved on so quickly forced me to have to get out of bed, throw all my what if’s our the window, and go on with my life. 

I looked to reading for comfort and learning about my feelings and how to handle them. 

I was able to learn the ins and outs of my feelings as well as I dealt with them in healthy ways.

I needed to have my safety blanket yanked from underneath me to finally open the door of change to begin on the long journey of loving myself again.

I no longer will fear change and the unknown. 

I had the strength to recognize what was no longer good for me and the strength to get out of a situation that was harming my future and my mental capacity. 

I was able to choose myself and make the decision to leave the home we made because it was no longer healthy for me in a time where I couldn’t even decide what I wanted to eat without panic. 

I now know how I can make it and prevail.

I left, I chose me, and I can survive without him. 

I’m learning what it’s like to be just Lea again, what it’s like to have my own identity, what it’s like to have freedom.

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I am just a normal girl writing her experiences and bits of wisdom she's come across through her journey to loving herself and positivity.

3 thoughts on “Freedom

  1. i guess, you did have it rather hard. love is rather rare, in this age and time. wished at times, that this world that we live in, wasn’t as cruel or just so insensitive.

    1. I had my heart completely ripped open but little did I know that by me taking a look inside what I thought was broken and facing all the fears and pains that were trying to take root within, I would be able to start the process of effectively healing myself. This whole messy but beautiful process led me to love the world even more and believe that there is still a pure and unconditional love out there ready for me. A love that won’t hurt but only heal.

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